


He'll Never Love Me Back

by Mrs_Monaghan



Series: Love & Alcohol [8]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Drunkenness, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-22 00:10:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11955630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Monaghan/pseuds/Mrs_Monaghan
Summary: Ian and Mickey are in a secret relationship. Ian is out but Mickey is still in the closet.Ian is convinced Mickey doesn't love him. That's until one  drunken incident however where it occurs to him, his feelings aren't as one sided as he thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FuckTheGallaghers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuckTheGallaghers/gifts).



> So I asked a riddle in Inseparable and promised to gift whoever got it right first. And that was FuckTheGallaghers (what did they to you girl? Ha ha haa) 
> 
>  
> 
> An airplane crushes between the American-Canadian border. Where should the survivors be buried?
> 
> The correct answer is - survivors _survived_ so no, they don need to be buried. They need to be taken to the hospital. Lolest!

Ian laughs and holds onto his ribs as Mickey continues to tickle him where he unfairly knows all his ticklish spots are.

"Stop! Please Mick STOP!"

"Say uncle!"

"Uncle! Uncle! Fucking uncle!" Mickey relents laughing hard and Ian glares at him to the best of his ability while he's still trying not to laugh too. "You're a fucking dick."

Mickey just laughs again and sits up next to Ian on the carpet. He reaches for the beer on the coffee table and finishes all of it. "That'll teach you not to fuck with me." 

"Can i fuck you?" Ian asks from where he's still lying on the floor. 

Mickey raises an eyebrow. "Getting tickled gets you going?" 

Ian smiles, grabbing Mickey's left hand and entwining their fingers. "You touching me gets me going." 

His smile widens when Mickey blushes deeply and bends down to kiss him so he can hide the blush. Mickey straddles him and Ian reaches for Mickey's T-shirt, pulling it over his head. 

"Mmm." Mickey smiles and probes Ian's mouth wider so he can push his tongue in. Ian can only moan in satisfaction and pull him closer. 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

"Ugh. I'm gonna be all sticky after this." Mickey complains. 

"And here." Ian continues. He applies more ice cream on Mickey's nipple and licks it off. "And here." He does the same to his neck before licking it off again. He's been applying the sweet desert on various body parts of his... whatever they are and licking it off. Ian keeps paying extra attention to Mickey's nipples because he loves how sensitive the other man gets. 

Mickey caresses Ian's thighs where the redhead is straddling him. "What do you wanna do today?" 

Ian scoops some ice creams and puts the plastic spoon in his mouth then hums in thought. "Order in, watch a few movies." He shrugs. "I don care as long as I'm with you." 

Mickey shakes his head. "You're so..." He shakes his head some more and sighs. "We could go to the movies instead. You'd like that, right?" 

"Yeah but," Ian stirs the melting ice cream avoiding Mickey's eyes. "wouldn't you rather wait for darkness?" 

Mickey twists his mouth and Ian knows that was a low blow but he couldn't help it. It just came out. The brunette presses the bridge of his nose with his thumb and fore finger. "Ian, you know..." 

"I do." Ian places the desert on Mickey's side table and gets off so he can lie next to him instead. He throws his hand across the man he loves and kisses his neck. "I'm sorry. That was a low blow." Mickey rubs the hand on his stomach gently. "But really, we can just stay here, it's fine." 

Mickey scoots to the edge of the bed and gets up. He stretches out his hand towards Ian and the taller man takes it with a smile. "Take a shower with me?" 

Ian nods happily and gladly follows him to the bathroom. 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

Ask Ian what they're watching and he can't tell you. His heart is too busy palpitating for him to hear the movie anyway. _Mickey is holding his hand!_ He's been holding since they got here. Sure it's dark and there are only a couple of people around, but they're outside their houses and this is happening in public! Sought of.  

"Stop that." 

Ian can feel his grin grow bigger. "Stop what?" 

"The fucking smiling man, it's weird." Mickey says but Ian can see him cover a smile of his own by running his free hand across his mouth. 

"I'm happy. Let me." 

Mickey lifts their hands and kisses the back of Ian's. The redhead practically melts. 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

"I'm hungry." Ian claims and Mickey drives them to their favorite local bar: Shiners. It has the best wings and Ian could really go for some right now. 

They sit there eating and drinking for a long time and Ian is so happy it reminds him why he loves Mickey. Why he stays with him even though their relationship is only known to them. 

Ian laughs amused, shaking his head. "Wow, your brother sounds...smart." 

"Are you being sarcastic Ian Gallagher?" 

"I'm just saying, at sixteen someone should be able to know you shouldn't handle electricals with wet hands." 

Mickey laughs. "He was drunk alright?" 

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Ian teases his voice dripping with even more sarcasm. 

Mickey throws a bone at Ian that lands on his cheek then laughs. Ian's smile drops, mesmerized by the man he likes to call his boyfriend in his head. Mickey is so fucking beautiful. Ian loves when Mickey is like this; happy and free. It makes him fall even deeper than he already is. He wants to reach across the table and feed him or do something worse like put his finger in that gorgeous dimple he loves so much. God, he wants to kiss him so bad right now.

"Let's go home." 

"Hmm?" Mickey asks with a frown. His mouth is full and he pauses on his chewing to stare at Ian in surprise. 

"You. Me. Home. Now." 

Mickey swallows. "Why?" He gestures at their unfinished meal. 

Ian drains his drink, gets up and puts on his jacket. "Because I want to kiss you. And do other things too." He wiggles his eyebrows. 

Mickey reaches for the saviets and wipes his oily hands before getting up quickly. "Well, why didn't you just say so?" 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

Lip is moving into his new apartment and he needed Ian's help. After a day of descending and ascending the stairs repeatedly, Lip releases Carl and his friends so it's just him and Ian sharing a beer while sitting on the kitchen counter. 

"Fuck, that was exhausting." Lip breathes and takes off his T-shirt. 

"Yeah. This beer feels like fucking heaven right now." Ian replies taking a huge cold gulp. 

"So listen." Lip clears his throat. "I know looking like we do it's not hard to get tail." 

Ian lifts a suspicious eyebrow. "But?" 

Lip clears his throat again making Ian even more suspicious. "My boss' soon is gay. And he's not a bad looking guy. Plus he's doing well with his life..." 

"And you're telling me this why?" 

Lip stares at him for a few seconds then shrugs. "Just thought you'd be interested." 

"No thanks." 

"Dude, you've been single for fucking months. It's weird." 

"People are single everywhere." 

"Not my brother." 

Ian scoffs and gets off the counter. "We done here? I got shit shit do." 

"Ian." 

"Not interested!" Ian yells over his shoulder already opening the door.

That was just great. Another reminder that as proud as he is to be with a man like Mickey, the latter doesn't feel the same. Ian would love nothing more than to at least tell Lip about the man he loves, the man he's been fucking for months. But that would just piss Mickey off and Ian is not about to risk that happening. 

So instead he heads home to his apartment where Mickey is coming to spend the night. Ian idly wonders how long till it all stops hurting so much. Till he accepts that he's destined to be a secret and his feelings are far from being reciprocated. 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

 "Would you fucking stop? I know how to fucking stir." Mickey complains since the redhead refuses to let go of him. 

Ian has plastered himself on Mickey's back in the pretense of helping him stir the pancake dough. "But I wanna help." Ian whines making Mickey chuckle. 

"Yeah? Does that involve you jerking me off?" 

"Well," Ian turns Mickey around and drops to his knees. "Maybe you'd prefer a hammer instead." 

                                            **°**

"Please stop asking me fucking favors after an orgasm so I can stop saying yes." Ian laughs and pushes Mickey with his shoulder. "Who the fuck even takes to walks anymore?" The brunette continues to complain just like he's been doing since they left the house. 

"Its a nice morning. The sun is up making it all nice and warm." Ian takes a deep breath. "The fresh air." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Mickey shakes his head amused and Ian just laughs, wanting nothing more than to kiss him but he reins it in. 

They walk for a few more minutes, side by side in silence, their shoulders brushing once every few steps. 

"Thank you." Ian can't help but voice because this is a big deal on Mickey's part; allowing them to be seen together like this. 

The brunette lights a cigarette and offers Ian one but he shakes his head 'no' "So umm..." Mickey thumbs his nose. "Our boss is throwing us a party at this hotel," 

Ian nods. "It's okay, we'll meet tomorrow after your hangover dies down." He teases with a chuckle.

Mickey smiles. "Anyway, its kind of a big deal and people are bringing their...dates. I know we can't be together but I was wondering if you could come? It would be kinda nice to see you there. I don't know." He shrugs rubbing the back of his neck. 

Ian's mouth is open, too wide he's sure of it. He can't believe what Mickey's asking. A work party where people are bringing their spouses and Mickey actually wants him there! This is incredible. 

"Or you know, don't. I just thought I'd ask. I know it's lame since we wont be seen together anyway but..." 

"Yes!" Ian interrupts excitedly. "Fuck yes Mickey, I'd love to be there!" He goes to hug him but remembers they're outside so he steps back. Ian vibrates with excitement. He won't be there as Mickey's date but hello, progress! 

"Good." Mickey says then they start walking again. 

Ian's happiness is however shortlived when a few minutes later Mickey steps away from him, leaving quite a few feet between them. Ian frowns in confusion wondering what the fuck is going on, but when a blond guy runs towards Mickey, hugging him tightly and lifting him off the ground, Ian gets it. 

"Bro! Come here you fucker!" 

"Get the fuck off me, you idiot!" Mickey pushes his brother away with a scowl but Ian can tell he's happy to see him. "Hey Iggy."

"Hey Mick. You need to visit more often man. We miss you over there." 

Ian looks around the street, shifting in place nervously. He wonders if he should just take off and save himself the trouble of being snobbed or worse introduced as a customer or some other shit like that. 

Even as the brothers keep talking, Iggy keeps glancing at him. With the distace Mickey kept between them, no one would have assumed they were together. But seeing as how Ian stopped at the same time Mickey did, he can see why Iggy would see him as a person of interest. 

Seconds, minutes, keep ticking by. Every one making it clear Mickey has no plans of introducing him. He makes up his mind and is about to leave when Iggy asks;

"So, who's the ginger?" 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was supposed to upload this yesterday but I was too sleepy to edit. So here you go!  
> Thanks for the beutyful comments that first chapter. U guys rock!

Ian watches as Mickey scratches his nose nervously before introducing him. "Umm, this is Ian, a friend."

 _A_ friend. Mickey couldn't even say _my_ friend, it's just a, friend. Ian doesn't know why that single letter makes a difference, why it makes his stomach ache. He doesn't know why he would have preferred Mickey to at least introduce him as _my friend_. For some reason he feels like that would have made him hurt less. Shit, it doesn't matter how often something like this happens it always hurts like a bitch.

Ian is beginning to feel strongly that they shouldn't hang out in public during the day. Or even better, they shouldn't hang out outside of each other's apartments.

Still he stretches out his hand and forces a smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too." Iggy lingers on him for a bit, but soon pulls his hand away and turns back to his brother. "You gon' come say hi to the rest anytime soon?"

Mickey sniffs and keeps looking at Ian. "Don' know man. I'll think about it."

Ian takes a deep breath.

It's fine, it's okay.

Mickey invited him to a work party with coworkers, it has to mean something, right? He may not be in love but it means he cares even if just a little bit. So Ian plants his feet, goes against his better judgment of walking away and wishes he had taken that cigarette when Mickey offered. He may be trying to quit but he could sure use one right now.

Finally, the brothers say goodbye and Iggy salutes Ian once before walking away. By now Ian doesn't feel so bad when he thinks about how Mickey invited him to that party, so the introduction doesn't hurt as much as it did when it happened.

Mickey chews on his bottom Lip nervously and his eyes can't seem to focus on one spot. "Look man,"

"It's okay." Ian smiles genuinely this time and he finds it worth it when Mickey visibly exhales in relief, his chest rising then falling with the action.

"Yeah?" The shorter man raises a hopeful eyebrow.

Ian nods vehemently, the feeling to make Mickey feel better overriding his hurt. "Yes. You wanna go back?"

"Didn't you give me a lecture about how important walking is?" Mickey smirks and Ian flips him off with a smile of his own.

"I'm craving those pancakes you made."

He won't say it of course but even though his hurt is gone, Ian still thinks they shouldn't hang out during the day. It hurts too much every time he is reminded of their situation. When they stay indoors, their happiness doesn't get interrupted. Ian doesn't get hurt and Mickey doesn't feel the need to apologize for being in the closet. Win, win.

"Shit. Now I'm hungry too." Mickey rolls his eyes as they turn around and make their way back.

Ian doesn't realise how fast he's walking until Mickey grabs his elbow as soon as they're in his apartment building. "Ian."

"Yeah?" Ian replies, pressing repeatedly on the elevator button.

"Ian I-" Mickey just breathes instead. "You're upset."

"I'm not."

"You love walking but suddenly you quit on me, then you practically ran on the way back here like you can't wait to get inside. You're upset and it's my fault..."

"No, it's not... It has nothing to do with it. I'm just... a walk was a bad idea, I'm just tired."

"Okay." Mickey replies even though he clearly doesn't believe him.

The ride up the elevator is awkward as all fuck and Ian hates that it's all his fault. He's so God damn weak it's pathetic. Why can't he just be stronger than this? Apart from the fact that they can't be seen together Mickey is the perfect guy. When it's just them they're usually so happy and everything is perfect. Ian can overlook this small hurdle. He can.

He gets off the elevator then turns around to look at Mickey. "I'm not-" he shakes in place and looks at Mickey's shoes. "Mind if we meet tomorrow at the party?"

Mickey blinks at him. "Yeah, sure." He nods and they stare at each other for a few seconds. "Ian-"

  
The redhead reaches forward and quickly kisses Mickey to silence him. At first the kiss is hard and desperate but they soon melt against each other. This they can do. Being with each other is never a problem. They're more than compatible in this department. Mickey moans and Ian pulls him outside and slams his back on the wall. Fuck, Ian loves this. He could make out with Mickey all day everyday if it was possible.

Ian is getting lost in the kiss like he always does when Mickey ends the make out and quickly steps back. That's when Ian hears noisy neighbours heading towards them.

"Ian we're..."

"Outside. Sorry. Forgot."

Ian interrupts then rushes towards his apartment. Unlocking the door, he leans on it and shuts his eyes tightly before inhaling deeply. Calm. He needs calm.

_Fuck._

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

"Didn't think you'd come."

Ian quickly turns around where he was getting a glass of champagne from a waiter's tray. "Hey Mick." He greets with a smile, happy to see him. "And I said I would be here so I am."

"Thank you."

"Shouldn't that be my line for inviting me?" Ian laughs and Mickey smiles up at him.

"This mean we're good?" Mickey inquires. "I know yesterday..."

"We're fine Mick." Ian has to put his free hand in his pocket to avoid squeezing Mickey's arm or caressing his face.

"Okay good. I gotta go talk to this guy that's going to be our second boss or some shit. Guy seems like a fucking asshole but it's whatever, right?"

"Yeah. Go kiss ass."

Mickey clicks his tongue. "The only ass I'm kissing is yours firecrotch."

Ian can't be blamed for blushing profusely as Mickey walks away. He sips his drink to cover the fact that he's checking out his favorite bubble butt.

"Eh. Wouldn't waste my time if I were you." Ian quickly turns to see a guy his height with neatly trimmed brown hair and hazel eyes. "He is as straight as they come." Ian just blinks at the stranger. "Oh, my bad." The guy transfers his drink to his left hand so he can shake Ian's. "My name is Joe and unlike Milkovich over there, I would _love_ to play with you."

"Aah, no thanks." Ian is quick to turn him down.

"C'mon, I saw you looking. Can't tell me you don' play for my team."

"Didn't say I don't. Just that I'm not interested."

"Ouch. Damn red, that's gonna bruise my self esteem."

Ian looks the guy up and down. "You don' seem to me like the type to have that particular problem."

Joe sips his drink then winks at him. "Rejection then a compliment? Careful now, or I'll jump to conclusions." 

Ian just shakes his head in amusement and his eyes scan for Mickey. He spots him talking to some old guy who's hair has no other trace of color other than gray. Mickey glances once in his direction and raises his glass so Ian returns the gesture. 

"So how do you know Mickey?" Joe who Ian had forgotten about speaks up. 

"Same neighborhood." Ian shrugs. 

"You're southside? Coulda fooled me." Ian just shrugs again. "So are you single or should I stop wasting my time?" Joe drains his glass and grabs another as the waiter walks by. 

"I'm seeing someone, yes." 

"Course you are. Exclusive?"

Ian finds himself laughing at the determination on this guy. 

"What's so fucking funny?" They're interrupted by Mickey's sharp tone. 

"Milkovich. So how's Thompson? Do we have anything to be worried about?" Joe asks. 

"Here's an idea, why don't you go find out?" Mickey suggests, leaving no room for debate. 

Joe turns to Ian. "Okay, later... aah shit. Didn't catch your name." 

"Didn't tell ya." 

Joe is about to ask for the name when Mickey steps in front of him with a glare that even Ian thinks he's scared of. 

"What the fuck was that?" Mickey whispers.

"I turned him down severally, he's the one who wouldn't leave." Ian defends. 

"Maybe be mistook your laughter for interest." Mickey suggests with an accusing brow. 

Ian is about to defend himself some more when it occurs to him; "Mickey Milkovich, are you... _jealous?"_  

"Fuck off, alright?" The brunette snaps with a glare directed at Ian this time. 

But no, Ian won't fuck off because one, Mickey who'd said they wouldn't be seen together is standing very close right now. Two, he is very much jealous of Joe. Ian never thought he'd see the day. 

"Oh my God, you are." 

Mickey tsks with another glare. "I'm not arguing with you about this." 

Ian is so ecstatic about the new development that he makes the worst mistake. Mickey is walking away and Ian really needs them to talk about this. So without thinking, he grabs Mickey's hand. The shorter man glances around, his face laced with worry and maybe fear. Ian isn't too sure. It's when he looks down at where Ian's hand is connectig with his wrist that the redhead immediately realizes Gus mistake. But before he can let go, Mickey pulls his hand away so fast and roughly that Ian drops his glass.  

"Mick, I am so sorry." 

"What the fuck are you trying to do, out me?" Mickey whispers angrily, bothered by the fact that the noise of the glass shuttering has gathered the attention of a few. 

Ian shakes his head no, panicking. "I wasn't thinking I'm sorr-" he rubs a hand across his face and looks around. A few people are watching and he's just making things worse for Mickey. "I'm sorry." He whispers apologetically before walking away. 

Ian is rushing down the hall trying to will his chest ache away when he's spinned around. "I..." Mickey starts looking around nervously. "I overreacted." 

"No Mick, I know the rules I shouldn't have done that." 

Mickey nods then puts both hands in his pockets. "Ian, I think we should end this." 

 _"What?"_ Ian barely manages to choke out. 

Mickey looks straight into his eyes. "We can't..." He sniffs. "I see how hurt you get every time I can't..." He shakes his head. 

"Are you being serious right now?" Ian swallows the lump in his throat as he gets the sudden urge to crawl into a ball. "Mickey, you can't. This isn't the solution." 

"Yeah it is." Mickey nods. "I'm never coming out and I'm tired of seeing that face" he gestures at Ian's face. "every time we can't do something in public. You need someone like fucking Joe who's not afraid to hit on you in front of an entire fucking party full of... Shit." 

"I don't want fucking Joe, I want you Mick, please don't..." 

"Believe me Ian, this is not what I want either." 

Ian takes a deep breath trying to form words despite the lump in his throat, the ache in his chest and the pain in his heart that feels like someone is pulling out his intestines. He glares at Mickey, gritting his teeth angrily. "Well, I'm not the one bringing it up, am I?" 

He turns and decides to take the stairs. He can't bear to stand next to Mickey as he waits for the elevator. 

 _I shouldn't have come_  keeps replaying in his head over and over

He doesn't bother wiping the tears that manage to fall. 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

It's two days later, in the middle of the fucking night when Ian is startled awake by a loud banging on his door. He groans but doesn't get up. He's just starting to fall back asleep when the banging starts up again, somehow even louder. 

He reluctantly slides off his bed and walks down the hallway, towards the front door. Ian checks the peep hole and his heart literally skips a few beats. What's he doing here? Didn't he end their perfectly good relationship? Ian was just beginning to cope! 

 _Who's he kidding?_ Ian thinks as he opens the door. Months will come and go and he will never be over Mickey. Ian counts to five then unlocks the door and pulls it open. 

Mickey is leaning all his weight on the door frame with his eyes closed. Ian can tell from the smell alone that the other man has been drinking. He's dressed in a blue T-shirt and it's a little wet even though it hasn't rained in months. His shoes are also muddy. What the hell?

Ian just stands there and gapes. He doesn't know what he should do, how he should react or what the fuck to say. Ian has been dodging Mickey as much as he could since the hand holding incident and the break up. (Well, to him it was a breakup) So he's very shocked to see Mickey standing here, at his fucking door in the middle of the fucking night.

"H...Hi Ian." Mickey is slurring. A lot. "I might be a little bit out of it." 

"Just a little?" Ian rolls his eyes before finally grabbing Mickey's elbow and leading him towards the couch. He shoves him down onto it.

The drunk brunette curls against a pillow and stares no doubt at the spinning ceiling. 

"What did you drink?" 

"A lot of...of..." 

"Jesus." 

Ian starts to head to the kitchen but Mickey tries to reach him. Ian however jumps out of the way and Mickey misses by a long shot, he's left grabbing at empty air where Ian was just standing.

"Where are you going?" More slurring. 

"To get you water and Advil."

"Aw." The slurring gets worse. "You're gonna take care o'me." 

Ian stands by the sink with shaky hands and a palpating heart. He stares out the window with his unsteady heartbeat. Without wasting anymore time, Ian exhales then fills a glass from the filter and grabs the Advil bottle that rattles when he puts two pills into his left palm. 

Ian hears Mickey laugh at nothing in the other room. He stares at the ceiling, shakes his head and then goes back to Mickey. He finds the other man asleep and is about to go back and pour the water down the drain when Mickey's eyes open. They look bloodshot and wide as he gives Ian a bizzare looking smile. 

"Here." Ian holds out the pills and water. "Take this then go to sleep." 

Mickey takes the water and almost spills it everywhere. He however just throws the pills in his mouth at once, then gulps down the water that's gone within seconds. Ian is still watching him intently, before rubbing his temple with a sigh. 

"Go to sleep." Ian orders and he's already switching off the lights. 

"Here?" Mickey asks.

"Yes there." 

"I don't wanna sleep here, I wanna sleep with you. On your bed." 

"Yeah well, you can't do that." 

Mickey sighs heavily. "Right. I fucked up." He slurs. "I always fuck up." His drunken eyes are sad when he manages to open them fully. "I don't like hurting the people I love." 

Mickey passes out after saying that and is soon drooling on the pillow. Ian hugs himself, taps his fingers on his elbows and swallows. It can't mean anything, can it?

Ian bends and unties Mickey's shoes. He drops them gently one by one on the floor. 

Fuck.

Ian doesn't know what to make of what Mickey just said. He's just fucked up right now and doesn't know what he's saying. Yeah, that has to be it.

But then, don't people usually mean what they say the most when they're drunk? Shit. Ian is so fucking confused right now. He finds a blanket and covers Mickey who's snoring lightly. Ian watches him for a bit, worrying his lip. But he can't stand here watching the other man like a creep. So he switches off the light and goes back to his bedroom. 

Ian doesn't fall asleep for a long time. But when he wakes up, Mickey's gone. 

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

It has been a terrible 72 hours for Ian. All he can think about is what Mickey said in his drunken state. 

_I don't like hurting the people I love._

Why did he say that? The people he loves. Does that mean that Ian is in that list? All this time Ian thought he was the only one in love in their none-relationship. But then Mickey gets drunk, the alcohol leads him here and he confesses that he's possibly in love with Ian. 

So why did he suggest the break up? 

Ian is sited on the couch, hugging a pillow close to his chest, his chin on his knees. He's staring at his blank TV screen wondering if he should head over to Mickey's or not. He needs to know if the other man remembers what he said. 

Ian gets up and decides not to change. Grabbing the car keys on his coffee table, he heads towards the door. 

"What the fuck?!" Ian exclaims in surprise when he sees none other than Mickey standing on the other side of his door. "Mick." 

"Hey." Mickey scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. "I swear I'm sober today." 

The laughter that leaves Ian takes him by surprise. "Come in." He steps aside and watches Mickey's ass as the latter heads inside. 

"I can feel your eyes on my ass perv." 

Ian just laughs again before closing the door and siting back down. "Join me?" He asks hesitantly. 

Mickey sniffs and does as told. Ian is surprised when Mickey immediately takes is hand. "Don' know where to fucking start man." 

"Anywhere is good." Ian encourages. 

"I'm still not ready to come out."

"I never asked you to." Ian replies softly. 

"But I also... I don't think I can live without you Ian." Ian is aware he's holding his breath but he's forgotten how the breathing process works. "I... Shit, Ian I didn't mean to end us I just hate hurting you so much." Mickey's voice is shaky and he sounds so emotional the redhead pulls him in for a tight hug. "Please don' leave me I can't..." 

"I'm not going anywhere Mick. I'm right here. I can't live without you either." Ian breathes loudly. 

Mickey releases a shaky breath and Ian holds him tighter. He pulls away to look into the blue eyes he feel in love with ages ago and his heart aches when he sees the tears there. In all the months they've been together Ian has never seen Mickey cry. He wipes them with his thumbs and doesn't hesitate in connecting their lips. 

They both inhale at the the same time as the kiss grows more intense. "I'm sorry." Mickey says between kisses and trying to take off Ian's T-shirt. 

"It's alright baby, it's fine." 

Ian takes off Mickey's shirt and the latter straddles him. "Thought I hated that word but I need you say it again." 

"Kiss me baby." Ian whispers and Mickey moans before doing just that. 

Ian hums in response then reaches around Mickey to grab his ass. He massages it then pulls the brunette impossibly closer. 

"Fucking take me Ian, take me now."

 

                                    ¶°°°°°°°°°¶

 

 They're lying naked on the couch with Mickey somewhat on top of him as Ian caresses his soft hair. 

"Do you really..." Ian starts then clears his throat. "Do you really love me?" 

"Yes." The answer is automatic, he doesn't even think about it. It makes Ian's skin hot. He's so happy he sits up and Mickey follows. Ian pulls Mickey on his lap and wraps his hands around him. 

"You do?" 

Mickey caresses his cheek and smiles. "I really fucking do." 

So many times Ian has fantasized about how it would feel like to be _loved_ by Mickey Milkovich. But now Mickey is seated on his lap and caressing his cheek. His fantasy is real, it's solid, it's here and Ian is living it.

"I was so angry at you." Ian admits softly. 

"I know." Mickey replies just as softly before pecking him on the lips. 

"We're boyfriends though, right?" 

Mickey chuckles. "That what you want?" 

Ian nods, caressing the thick thigh gently. "I know we're not going to be shouting it from the rooftops any time soon but I would like to know that yes, you're my boyfriend. And that yes, we're exclusive." 

Mickey nods in understanding. "Kay. Now kiss me, boyfriend." 

"Anytime baby."

**Author's Note:**

> Asante Kwa Kusoma ♡♥


End file.
